Original vows are honest and compelling, and add to the beauty and meaning of your wedding ceremony. Though it may seem intimidating or even impossible to write down and recite your deepest musings and meditations on love and marriage, the introspective process can be very spiritual, and the experience a profound one to share with your fiance and in front of your loved ones.
Guidance and support from your officiant is often incredibly helpful when writing your own vows. It is important to establish a relationship with your officiant from the very beginning, and to communicate, even by email, your wishes and desires for your ceremony and this most special celebration. Many officiants will offer “samples” or ceremony templates to serve as a guide and to understand the style and mood you are hoping to achieve during your matrimonial celebration. And, based on your communications and his or her insight into your relationship, he/she can continue to make recommendations.
Let your officiant know if you want to include family or friends in your ceremony. By inviting their participation and incorporating a poem or reading that resonates with you, the ceremony will become even more meaningful and personal.
Staying true to yourself and keeping it simple and honest is the best approach. But, don’t wait for the last minute! If you are suddenly overcome by emotion or if an idea comes to mind at an unusual time, keep a notebook handy or make note in your smartphone for safe keeping! You can always refer back to these little love notes when you find a quiet time to reflect. But don’t wait until you are headed to or have arrived at your destination to start the process. You will be busy with family, friends and wedding events and commitments. And if you can not focus your time or attention, it may cause unnecessary stress or anxiety. My favorite speeches are the most genuine, when the groom is speaking from the heart and is so overcome with emotion he almost fumbles his lines. That is an honest expression of unconditional love!