Engaged :: WOW :: My Own Daughter! | By Cindy Novotny

Engaged – By Cindy Novotny, Master Connection Association

As a consultant that works with hotels, venues, bridal consultants, wedding planners and all those who are engaged in the business of weddings know that I am the first person to talk about the ‘value’ of the product, service and experience you offer.

This month’s newsletter takes my quote –”Weddings are Business” to a whole new level.  The business of weddings has hit the Novotny home with my daughter Jessica getting engaged to John.  So, here are my learnings so far and the tips that not only the brides will find useful, but the planners and consultants that are providing resources to the bride and her family.

The planning process involves a lot of ‘checklists.’  Venue, destination, photographer, dress, flowers, planner, music, food & beverage, colors – we could go on and on.  But, what about the emotional roller coaster so many brides and their mothers go through that is so unnecessary.  Most people are not great communicators and then when you add the pressure of a wedding and the stress that comes along with that, the communication can turn into conflict.  There is simply no need for this.  The bride said yes, so start off the process with crucial conversations.

Susan Scott wrote an incredible book called “Fierce Conversations.”  The book addresses how to handle tough situations both in your personal and professional life.  It is a great platform to read for everything in your life – not just weddings!

So here are some steps to focus on that will help everyone (including the wedding planner) enjoy a beautiful wedding:

  1.  Stop thinking the wedding should match a movie.  There are so many beautiful lines out there from really romantic movies that sometimes everyone tries to relive the ‘tagline.’  Be your own person and plan a wedding (or help the bride plan the wedding) to meet her dreams and not Hollywood’s.
  2. Don’t copy your best friend’s wedding.  This is your day.  Sure, look at Pinterest and create your dream board but don’t just copy what everyone else is doing.  Everyone follows the trends to the point that all weddings look alike for each season – the fall wedding trends – so everyone does the same thing.  Maybe you want to be the Fruit Loop in the bowl of Cheerios!
  3. Remember you should be marrying your best friend.  Is this the person who you share all your ideas with?  If so, don’t exclude them from the wedding just because you are the bride.  This is their day too.  If I hear it once I hear it a thousand times – it is all about the bride.  Well without the ‘happy’ groom there will be no bride!
  4. Be comfortable in your own skin.  Know what your idiosyncrasies are and tell your planner, your venue and anyone else around you what you like and what you don’t like.  Don’t be afraid to be real.
  5. Spend time apart from your partner once in a while.  This applies before, during and after the wedding.  Don’t smother one another – give space to breathe and remember when you walk down that aisle you are not losing YOU, you are just gaining a partner!
  6. Because you are marrying your best friend, with that person comes an extended family – like it or not they are there for keeps.  Discuss all the ‘family issues’ before the planning begins.  How many times does a wedding planner have to work on separating certain family members the night before the wedding?  Don’t be silly – plan this out well in advance.
  7. Be excited – not nervous.  This is the best party of the year and you should be on pins and needles.  So make sure you surround yourself with the best pros.  Don’t leave the planning to the novice – yourself.  Use the global resources available in this magnificent industry.
  8. Just because you have a wedding planner you still have ‘to do’s.’  Make sure you share these with your partner, your MOH, and others that are there to help.  Don’t be a ‘chore hoarder.’
  9. Learn to compromise.  Life is about give and take and if you can’t make it through one day of a wedding how will you make it through a lifetime?

Last and most importantly – plan to enjoy the day.  After all it is YOUR day!