Your mom’s dress is the second most important dress in your wedding. You want her to feel confident and comfortable with her choice, so you need to take time to help your mom figure out what kind of dress is best for her and your wedding style. Shop with her guidelines in mind, but don’t be afraid to compromise and get a dress that makes you both happy. Here are five tips to help your MOB find the dress of her dreams

Have a chat before shopping. Talk to your mom about the wedding in general. Share the wedding style, color scheme, your ideas for your dress and your bridesmaids. Chat about her style and how she envisions dressing on your big day. Search for evening dresses online to get an idea before shopping together.

Provide guidelines. Set a few rules for MOB gown shopping, but not too many. Let her know what colors are a not appropriate for a mother of the bride to wear like white, ivory or anything in the champagne color family. Share great color options which are purple, blue, lavender, silver and burgundy. After sharing your rules, let her know that the most important thing is that she feels comfortable and beautiful.

Coordinate with your future mother-in-law. Politely discuss the same guidelines with your future spouse’s mother as well. You want to make sure that they don’t wear the same dress or same color, so chatting about it early avoids problems. If they know each and get along, make a day of it and go shopping together. If not, you can offer to help the groom’s mom find a gown she loves.

Research before you hit the stores. Search for a few salons in your area that carry MOB dresses. Bridal salons often have just matronly options and you want your mom to feel good in her dress, so consider taking your mom shopping to boutiques and upscale department stores. Go shopping early –around the six to eight months ahead– since her dress might not be in stock and she might have to order it.

Make dress shopping special. Plan a day to go shopping with your mom. She probably wants you to be there when she selects her dress, just as you want here there when you get your bridal gown. When your mom is trying on dresses, listen to her opinion of the dress first and then give yours. Don’t be overly critical and let her know in a nice way if you think there is a better dress for her. She’ll feel more confident if you keep the conversation positive. After gown shopping, make a day of it and take her out to lunch.